


Saint Peeta

by thegirlonpeetamellark



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2013-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-15 16:28:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlonpeetamellark/pseuds/thegirlonpeetamellark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss and Peeta in college. He wants her. She wants him. So, what’s the problem?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Freshmen Year

I glance over at Madge nervously, she offers me a small smile as we wait for the door to open.

I realize how glad I am I asked my new roommate to come with me tonight. I would have felt strange showing up here alone and I guess this is a good way for us to bond. Besides, it wasn’t like either one of us really knew anyone else or had any other plans for the first weekend of our college career.

Gale finally opens the door, a beer in his hand. 

“Catnip!” He exclaims, pulling me into his arms.

“Hey Gale,” I return his hug before pulling away. “This is my roommate, Madge,” I tell him and I can’t help noticing the way Madge blushes when she shakes his hand.

“Ahh fresh meat, just like Katniss,” Gale says, inspecting the blonde girl and still not letting go of her hand. “Well, it’s lucky you guys know us. Most freshmen are going to that lame on-campus social. You two are going to experience your first college party.”

I roll my eyes at Gale’s attempts to show off. Gale is a junior and he lives off campus with three other guys in a house that’s walking distance from our dorms. 

“Come on, I want you to meet the guys,” He tells us, and we follow him into the living room.

The room is made up of an old, tattered couch, a futon and several cushioned chairs arranged around a coffee table. On the wall opposite the couch is a huge flat screen TV that is mounted to the wall. There are three boys seated around the room, each with a drink in hand.

“Hey guys,” Gale announces to the room.

“This is Katniss, the girl I grew up with who is basically like my little sister and if any of you assholes gets any ideas I’ll will punch you in the dick...hard.”

“Gale!” I admonish him, rolling my eyes at his overprotective, overbearing ways.

“And this is her roommate, Madge,” Gale adds like he never even heard me.

We wave to the guys as we move towards the couch and chairs to take a seat.

“This is Finnick,” Gale says, indicating a bronze haired boy that is intimidatingly good looking. “This is Thresh,” He continues pointing out a dark skin boy who nods his head in my direction. “And this is Peeta,” He finishes, motioning to the blonde hair, blue eyed boy. 

When he looks at me I feel myself blush and immediately stare at my hands folded in my lap.

Slowly people start showing up at the house until there are about 20 or 30 bodies spread throughout the living room and kitchen. I feel a little overwhelmed. Gale has ditched me to talk to some of his friends and there are so many upperclassmen here, I feel like a fish out of water. Madge sits beside me, neither one of us having moved from our original spot where we first sat down.

She keeps glancing over at Gale.

I look across the room by the stereo system that Finnick and Peeta are gathered around. Peeta catches my eyes across the room and smiles. I feel my stomach do flips. 

He waves me over to him.

I hesitate for a moment.

“Umm, I’ll be right back,” I tell Madge who is still staring at Gale.

“Uh yah, sure,” she responds, but I’m not sure she really heard me.

I make my way through the crowd and get to Peeta. “Hey,” I smile nervously, tucking my hair behind my ears.

“You want a drink?” He asks, taking a sip from his own red plastic cup.

“Uh sure,” I reply. I’ve never drank before. Mainly because I was always focused on making sure Prim was taken care of in high school that the idea of partying and getting drunk every weekend seemed ridiculous to me. Now that I’m in college though I figure it can’t hurt to let loose for a change.

“Come on, follow me,” he says.

He makes me a rum and coke and I don’t even finish half of it before I realize I’m drunk. I meander through the house dumbly, a stupid grin on my face. I find Madge and throw my arms around her. “I’m soooo glad you came tonight!” I exclaim. 

“Oh my god, me too!” Madge returns, holding her own red plastic cup. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“I’m soooo happy you’re my roommate,” I add. I abandon my drink in the kitchen, the small, still sane part of me realizing I’m already at my limit.

Later Gale sees me almost trip and fall head first into the carpet and shouts across the room. “God damn it, which one you assholes got Katniss drunk?” He demands.

“Calm down, Gale!” I protest. “It’s not the end of the world. I’m allowed to get drunk.”

“Yeah, she’s allowed to get drunk,” Finnick shows his support.

“You’re funny,” I tell him, pushing my finger against his chest.

“You’re cute,” he returns and I blush and shake my head.

After my millionth trip to the bathroom I find myself in a long, narrow hallway in the back of the house alone with Peeta.

“How are you doing?” He laughs when he sees me stumble a little.

“I’m great!” I giggle, glad that no one is around and that it’s just us. I look behind him at the closed door he’s standing in front of. I push pass him to reach it, trying to turn the knob.

“That would be my room,” he explains. “And I like to keep it locked when we have parties like this. You know, so my shit doesn’t get stolen.”

I laugh probably a little too loudly at that. 

“Can I see?” I plead with him, pouting and using my best puppy dog eyes.

I can see him internally debating it in his head. “Alright,” he finally concedes, opening the door and letting me in.

I walk into the room and inspect his set up. I notice that for a boy’s room it’s pretty neat and organized.

He’s still standing by the doorway, holding the door open. He keeps glancing behind him nervously. When I approach him I realize how bold I’m feeling. I grab his hand and pull him into the room. Then I shut the door behind him.

He swallows thickly. “What are you doing?”

I shrug my shoulders, not really sure what to say to that.

I take his hand and pull him over to the edge of his bed. We sit side by side for a moment and I realize he hasn’t let go of my hand.

When I look up at him we lock eyes and I feel a spark between us. His eyes dart to my lips and I feel myself inching closer. Finally, he breaks the spell and looks away.

“Katniss...” he warns, and I don’t really know why he’s fighting this, whatever this is, but suddenly I need to lie down.

I flop back onto the bed.

“Talk to me,” I say.

And so he does. He starts talking about his major and how he met Gale and what he wants to do after he graduates. He tells me about where he grew up and how his family owns a bakery and how his mom is a total bitch.

It’s amazing really, how easily we connect. I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. I’ve never been able to talk to someone like this. I tell him stuff that I would never dream of telling just anybody, let alone a complete stranger. I realize some of it might be the alcohol, but seeing as how I stopped drinking a while ago and it has been slowly starting to fade, I think it’s more than that. 

It’s at some point later in the night when we’re both laughing hysterically at something I can barely remember that he leans his body over me, his face inches from mine. He looks down at me, as our mirth dies away. 

“Kiss me,” I ask as his hand cups my face.

“It’s not that I don’t want to....” he trails off.

It takes me a moment to realize what he’s saying. “Gale...” I conclude.

“He’s one of my best friends,” Peeta shrugs. “I just wouldn’t feel right doing that to him.”

I sigh, rolling my eyes and not bothering to try and hide my annoyance.

“I’m a big girl, Peeta.” I tell him. “I can make my own choices.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he says, but he still doesn’t make any attempt to take things further.

And so every time I come over to their house or we meet up at a party it’s always like this. I want him and he wants me, but nothing ever happens. We remain in this weird holding pattern of constantly flirting with each other without ever acting on it because Gale is overprotective and Peeta is a loyal friend.

Sophomore Year

The club is packed. It’s hot and the music is pounding and bodies are pushed up against each other on the dance floor.

Finally, Madge and I make it through the crowd and spot the boys. 

My whole body starts to hum with nervous energy, just like it does every time I see Peeta. After a year of getting nowhere you would think I would have just moved on by now. He’s clearly never going to break his stupid little oath of loyalty to Gale. 

He is Saint Peeta. And it frustrates me to no end.

But when he smiles at me like that when I walk up beside him it makes me forget everything except how attracted I am to him and how nice and sweet and charming and caring he is.

Maybe I’ll just have this endless infatuation with him for the rest of time and I’ll go to my death bed before anything ever comes from it.

He throws an arm around me and walks me over to the bar.

I want to scream, ‘look Gale doesn’t give a shit about us, he’s hitting on Madge!’, but instead I bite my tongue.

He buys me a drink and his eyes never leave my face as we talk, even when several girls that are scandalously dress saunter by him, clearly trying to get his attention. He listens with rapt attention as I complain about my classes and share the stories about the new roommate Madge and I have this year, how she walks around naked like it’s no big deal.

Somewhere around my second or third drink the club seems to be getting even more packed, so we’re pushed closer together among the crowd of bodies.

I look up at him, biting my lip and raising my eyebrows suggestively as barely a few inches separate us now. His hand goes to my hip and he pulls me closer.

“You wanna dance?” I ask, throwing one arm around his shoulder.

“With you? Yes.”

I grin, taking his hand and leading him out to the dance floor. 

I navigate my way to the middle of the dance floor, holding Peeta’s hand tightly so we don’t get separated. I don’t stop until we are completely surrounded by a mass of bodies that are moving in rhythm to the pounding music. As we get lost in the crowd I turn around and face him, throwing my arm over his shoulder again. He puts two hands on my hips and pulls me flush against him.

We share stupid smiles and I realize he’s drunk enough not to care about pretending he doesn’t want me as bad as I want him. And I’m just drunk enough to go along with it, relishing in the feel of him finally being open about what how he really feels, even if deep down I know he’s just stringing me along, being a complete and total tease, because he’ll never take that final step and make the first move. He’ll never let go of this idea that getting involved with me would somehow be the most treacherous sin he could ever commit against the boy who was his first real friend at college.

It’s a combination of a lot of things, the alcohol, the music, the people grinding against each other around us, and the fact we’re completely blocked from view of anyone we actually know in this club, that kind of sets us off. 

I find myself turned around, my backside flush against his front, my ass pressed tightly into his crotch. His hands are on my hips, pulling me against him as he grinds himself into my behind, making sure I feel every inch of him.

The feel of his hardness pressing into me makes me so wet I actually moan.

I reach back, my hand cupping the side of his face and then running through his hair that has started to curl slightly from the humidity of the club.

His head drops to my shoulder, his nose trailing along my exposed skin. His lips never make contact though and I try and push away the surge of anger I feel at him at the reminder that he’s constantly holding himself back when it comes to the two of us together.

I make sure to work him as hard as I can, moving my ass against his groin in the most suggestive way possible. He doesn’t really hold back either, returning my thrusts with equal fervor. 

At one point I feel the throbbing between my legs so intensely that I turn around, putting his right leg between the two of mine and moving up against him so I can rub clit against his thigh. The combination of the friction from my jeans and the feel of his leg pressing against that area feels so impossibly good I have to grip onto his shoulders, biting my lip to suppress the moans of pleasure that are coming out of me in response. 

He doesn’t hesitate to respond, grabbing me by my hips again and pressing himself into me. I can feel the bulge in his jeans pushing into my hip and at several points I have to mentally remind myself to calm down because I’m so worked up I’m about two seconds from bringing him to the bathroom and demanding he take me right this instant.

When the song finally ends we pause to take a breather but he holds me around the waist like he wants to keep me close. I try and take deep breaths and ignore the ache between my legs.

Someone he knows comes by and while they’re sharing a quick word I take the opportunity to step away for a moment to cool myself down. I’m fanning myself and running my hands through my hair when a tall guy with dark hair and dark eyes comes over to me.

He’s hot and he gives me a sweet smile.

I smile back at him politely. There’s something endearing about him, the way he’s kind of dancing like a nerd, that makes me think he’s not like every other complete tool that you usually run into at these clubs.

“Wanna dance?” He asks, a goofy smile on his face as he looks at me expectantly.

I open my mouth to respond, but before I can even get a word out to politely tell him ‘thanks, but no thanks’, I feel two strong arms wrap around me.

“She’s taken,” Peeta answers for me.

The guy nods understandingly, raising his hands up to indicate he meant no harm.

When he turns away I look at Peeta, glaring at him.

“Sorry,” he shrugs, and he at least has the decency to realize what he did wasn’t okay or fair. “I just didn’t want to let you go yet.”

But I just nod quietly, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. The sad part is that neither did I. I push away the depressing thought that instead of dancing with a cute, nice guy who might actually be interested enough in me to make a move, I’m still standing here with Peeta, who I’ve never been able to get anywhere with.

I dance with him for the rest of the night, getting lost in the sexual tension between us that comes from wanting each other so badly and never doing anything about it.

Junior Year

I take another sip of my Cosmo, every angry, bitter, and depressing thought I’ve had for the past week hitting me all at once.

My feet hurt and I do not want to be at this party. I’m standing near the bar by myself.

After the boys all graduated Gale, Finnick and Peeta were all lucky enough to find jobs in the city so they decided to keep their house near campus and are still living it. Thresh moved back home, but they got a new roommate named Cato who kind of seems like a douche, but he’s never really around anyways.

Gale got hired at some fancy company having to do with data analyst for military intelligence or something more complicated than that I don’t really understand. They have an annual Christmas benefit at the Four Seasons every year and of course he demanded every one of his closest friends come since he could bring whoever he wanted and it was open bar and he bitches that everyone there is at least 15 years older than him.

I finish my Cosmo and then ask the bartender for another.

I feel him, before I actually see him.

“You okay there?”

I roll my eyes, not looking at him. “I’m great, why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I don’t know,” Peeta shrugs. “You just seem kind of mad.”

“I’m not mad,” I tell him, trying to keep my voice calm.

“Calm on, talk to me,” he asks. “What’s wrong?”

I sigh. He really doesn’t get it. He thinks that I want to talk to him about this of all people. He thinks that the boy I have been in love with since I was a freshman is the appropriate person to hear about how fucked up my life is. He thinks it would make sense for me to tell him how I finally found the resolve to try and date people that weren’t him because after 2 and a half years it finally got through my thick head that me and him aren’t happening, that we will never happen.

Just the idea of telling Peeta about how I tried seeing this guy for a month, that I gave him my fucking virginity only to come to the agonizing conclusion after two horrible sessions of sex that I could never feel for him even a fraction of what I feel for Peeta, makes me cringe. I’m in love with someone who doesn’t want me, who I’ll never get to be with. So I’m drowning my sorrows in alcohol and keeping my mouth shut because he is the last person I want to share that story with.

I look across the room at Gale and Madge full on making out.

“That’s what wrong,” I tell him, indicating our friends sucking face.

He sees them and sort of just chuckles quietly to himself. 

It only pisses me off more.

“It’s not funny!” I snap. “It’s not funny that he gets to hook up with my friends, but God forbid....” I trail off, realizing what I just said. 

Fuck.

Now I feel like crying because I fucking hate that he knows how much I still care about him despite how many times he’s said it’s not happening.

“Katniss....” He begins with what sounds like pity in his voice.

“No, just don’t okay...” I stop him before he can start. “I’m sick of having this conversation all the time. I get it. I’m not worth it.”

Actually saying the words out loud makes my voice crack. It makes me want to cry, the reality of the situation, the thoughts I have about why he really doesn’t want to take things further between us. I’m nothing more than some girl he finds hot and he doesn’t want to hook up with me because that would be breaking some kind of honor code with Gale.

It means I’m not good enough for something more. It means that he doesn’t actually want to date me because if he did he would go to Gale and tell him how he felt and if Gale knew that it was about more than just hooking up he wouldn’t have a problem with it - he couldn’t, right?

“It’s not like that,” he replies, seemingly reading my thoughts.

“I care about you, I do.”

“Just not enough though, right?” I respond sadly.

And in that moment I see the sorrow on his face and I think maybe this is just as hard for him as it is for me. But right now I could care less because I can only focus on my own pain. I turn and leave, getting away before he can stop me or say anything else.

Senior Year

I let myself into their house after I get out of class one afternoon. I know where they keep the spare key and I’ve been coming here so often the past 4 years I have no problem letting myself in.

“Hello?” I call out from the foyer, only to be greeted with silence.

I know Gale must be working, but who knows where the rest of them are.

I wander into the kitchen and place the bag of alcohol on the counter. My repayment for last weekend when I brought a couple of friends over who drank everything in their fridge. 

I make my way into the living room, looking around the empty house that holds my most fondest memories of college. It's still hard for me to believe that I'll be graduating this year, that it's all over.

Inexplicably I find myself walking towards the back of the house, where Peeta's room is.

As I get closer, walking down the long, narrow hallway I notice that his door is not closed all the way, cracked open just an inch. I also notice that there is noise coming from his room. I'm just about to call out again, wanting to see if someone is indeed home, when I hear my name.

"Katniss......"

I frown, momentarily confused. Then I pick up the sounds of grunts and groans and labored breathing. I freeze, realizing what I'm listening to. "Oh...fuck...Katnisss..." I hear Peeta whimper again. Every instinct in my body tells me to turn around immediately and leave before he realizes I'm here but something prevents me from doing that. Instead I do the exact opposite of that. I creep closer to his door, being careful to remain absolutely silent. 

When I reach the door I get as close as physically possible to it, peeking through the small crack of the open door.

Peeta is lying in his bed, back against the headboard, wearing nothing but a t-shirt. His hand is wrapped around his impressive length and he is stroking himself up and down, his eyes shut as he continues to pant and groan in response to his movements.

My heart is pounding out of my chest. I know I should go, turn and flee and pretend I never saw anything, but...I just can't. The longer I stand here watching him the wetter my underwear becomes. I ache to touch him. Seeing him like this for the first time, in all his glory, is making the fire I've always felt for him roar to life.

In an instant I make the decision to do something I've been wanting to do for 4 years. 

I make the decision to just go for it.

It's rash and I don't take the time to really think it through but the throbbing between my legs could not make me care less.

I push open the door and step inside his room.

"Can I help you with that?" I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

Peeta's eyes fly open and he looks at me in complete shock, his mouth slightly ajar. His hand falls away from his length and he sits up more fully in bed, grabbing a nearby pillow to cover up his arousal.

I can't help giggling at the way his face flushes beet red and he starts to stammer out a response.

"Um....what? Um no, it's okay...thanks."

I laugh, turning to shut and lock the door behind me. I drop my purse on his desk and move closer to his side of the bed.

He's still holding the pillow to cover himself and he won't meet my eyes.

"Why not? I really want to help. And I know you want me to," I argue with him.

He looks up at me. "Katniss...." he begins, that same tone he's always taken with me, like he's about to explain again why things between us can't happen. Like he's about to explain about Gale and how as much as he wants it, he could never do that to him.

I don't let him finish though because I'm tired of hearing that excuse, I'm tired of him fighting us so much. I want him and I want him now.

"Peeta, stop," I command him. "I am so sick and tired of this. I’m so sick and tired of you fighting this, fighting us. Stop pretending you don’t want me as bad as I want you."

He sighs and I think he expects me to turn and leave, but instead I reach up under my denim skirt and pull my now soaked underwear down my legs and kick them off my feet. I notice how he looks up at me in disbelief, swallowing thickly. Then I strip my t-shirt off and toss it to the side. I stand there with my hands on my hips, wearing nothing but my bra and skirt. 

I lower myself to the bed, sitting beside him. I reach out and trace the blonde stubble on his jaw. He looks at me like he’s in shock for a moment. Then I lean forward and press my lips to his. The slight moan that escapes his lips is all the encouragement I need. After 4 years of dancing around it, he can no longer deny this thing between us. I push my tongue into his mouth, tasting him, savoring the feel of something I've dreamt about for so long

When we finally break away Peeta's next words come through ragged breaths. "Oh fuck it....I need you."

I grin and move to pull the pillow off his lap, exposing his still hard length. I groan at the sight of it. "Were you thinking about me to get off?" I whisper, moving to straddle his lap.

"I always think about you," he responds.

He pushes my skirt up my waist so it hangs around my middle. His rock hard cock pushes against my stomach. I reach around and undo the clasp of my bra before tossing it to the side.

“Touch me,” I plead.

Peeta grunts his approval and immediately moves his hands to cup my breasts. "You're so fucking perfect," he whispers, trailing his thumbs over my nipples, tugging on them gently. I run my hands through his hair and he leans down to take my breast in his mouth, alternating his attention between each one. 

I’m breathing so hard, practically trembling, because my body feels like it’s on fire. I can’t believe that after all this time, after all the nights I spent touching myself thinking about Peeta, that this is finally, actually happening. 

“Oh my god,” I whimper, feeling the wetness between my legs grow.

When he pulls away I push him back a little and situate myself so I can rub my clit against his length. When I grind into him we both cry out and I grip onto his shoulders.

"Fuck Katniss," he exclaims gripping my hips and guiding my movements. "I've wanted this for so long."

"I want you inside me," I pant, tugging on his hair.

He looks up at me and when we lock eyes we share a look of understanding, that despite how fast this is all happening, it has been 4 years in the making. It has been 4 years in the making and there is no doubt in either of our minds how much we want it and how much we care about each other, have always cared about each other.

He shifts me off his lap and moves to stand up off the bed. For a brief moment I'm terrified that he's changing his mind and he's going to go back to being Saint Peeta. But then he stands at the edge of the bed and grabs my legs, pulling me over to him. He strips off his shirt and then brings me over so I'm right at the edge of the bed, my legs dangling off. I prop myself up on my elbows and he grabs each of my legs and wraps them around his waist. 

"This is going to be fast and hard," he explains, leaning down to kiss me. "You don't know the effect you have on me, Katniss. I've wanted you like this since that first night you came over here as a Freshman. I don't think I can last too long...at least not the first time."

My eyes light up at the mention of 'the first time', hoping that means they're going to be several more times after this. 

I pull him towards me, sharing a long kiss before moving my lips to his ear. "Fuck me as hard as you need," I whisper before biting down on his ear lobe. I realize the shock and thrill of being with Peeta is bringing out this completely different side of me, this side that has no inhibitions sexually. The thought excites me and makes me look forward to our future escapades.

He growls in response to my words and then places his hands on my hips, pulling me towards him. He slides in slowly, just the tip at first. My folds are dripping wet from the anticipation and the buildup and the realization this is finally, actually happening. 

“Oh my god, Peeta!” I whimper.

"Oh fuck," Peeta groans, pulling himself out slowly and slamming back into me.

I give up trying to keep myself propped up on my elbows and fall back on the bed, glancing up at the image of my legs wrapped around Peeta's waist as he starts to pound into me at a faster pace. I grip onto the bedsheets, trying to hold on, as I feel my build up already coming on. 

"Oh yes....yes...fuck yes," I shout, my entire body shaking from the force of Peeta's thrusts, urging him on. “Harder...” I pant.

He starts going faster and his grunts are getting louder and more out of control. His breathing is ragged and he is working furiously to get us to that point together.

When I come I cry out so loudly and my body shakes so much, I'm sure that Peeta has literally just fucked my brains out. My insides clench around him and not two seconds after I finish he finds his own releases, calling out my name and going still, pleasantly throbbing inside me. 

He collapses on the bed on top of me and then rolls to his back, bringing me with him. He's still inside me and I rest my head against his chest and try and calm my breathing, coming back down to earth. 

Finally, I attempt to speak. "That was...."

"Amazing, mind blowing, perfect," Peeta finishes my sentence. "I can't believe we waited 4 years to do that."

"We only waited because of you," I tell him, trailing my fingers over his chest lazily. He kisses the top of my head. 

"Yeah....I don't know what the hell I was thinking," Peeta explains.

I giggle and lift my head to look up at him. "Yeah so you have 4 years of orgasms to make up to me," I tell him cheekily. 

"Is that all you want me for?" Peeta protests, pretending to pout.

"No, that's just an added bonus. I want all of you Peeta. I always have."

"So have I," He responds and my heart contracts from the look in his eyes, the sincerity and passion I see there.

He kisses me and then rolls me onto my back. He slides out of me and then sinks to his knees at the edge of the bed, his head finding it's way between my legs.

"Guess I'll start on making it up to you right away," he says before his tongue licks my folds. My eyes roll to the back of my head when he starts to suck on my clit and I lose track of how many times he makes me come before I pass out from sheer exhaustion.

\---

When I wake up several hours later it takes me a moment to realize I'm asleep in Peeta's bed, cuddled up with him completely naked. The memories of our first time and his talented tongue working it's magic instantly brings a smile to my face. I glance over at his bedside table and see that it's 1 in the morning. My throat is sore and dry from screaming so much and I desperately need a glass of water.

I kiss him on the cheek and then quietly slip out of bed, throwing on one of his white button down shirts he wears to work. 

I tip toe out of his room and across the living room to the kitchen.

I quietly grab a glass from the cupboards and pour myself some water from the filter in the fridge. I pace around the kitchen, sipping on the cool drink as I inspect the pictures on the fridge and the food stocked in the cabinets, seeing if there is anything good to eat.

I hear footsteps coming into the kitchen, but before I can even turn around I feel two strong arms wrap around my waist.

Peeta kisses the curve of my neck and pulls me against him, wearing nothing but his boxers.

"I wait 4 years to wake up in bed with you naked in my arms and you can't even give me that," he complains, his lips kissing up my neck, sucking on my skin.

"Sorry," I apologize, reaching up behind me to run my hand through his hair. "Someone made me come so hard and so many times my throat was raw from screaming."

"Mhmm..." Peeta breaths, his hand slipping down my front as he realizes I'm not wearing any underwear. "I do like hearing you scream my name," he says, his fingers finding their way between my legs, brushing against my clit and running along my folds. 

"You're already so wet," he pants into my hear.

He slips a finger inside me and I push against his hand and moan my satisfaction.

We're completely lost in our need for each other. 

So lost that we never hear the person making their way towards the kitchen. We don't even notice him standing a few feet away, staring at us in shock, until it's too late and it's impossible to pretend we were doing something else.

"Catnip?" Gale says incredulously. 

Before I can think of anything to say he charges at Peeta, fists raised.


	2. Chapter 2

“No, stop!” 

I finally manage to get the words out as Gale closes the distance between us. I throw myself between him and Peeta at the last minute, using my body to shield Peeta from harm.

“What the fuck are you doing, man?” Gale shouts at Peeta, snaking his arm around me to shove Peeta hard in the chest. His eyes are wide and he is breathing hard and he looks completely livid. I’ve seen this look from him only a few times before and I know what it means, I know he is on the verge of losing it.

“How could you do that to me? I thought we were friends!” Gale continues, still trying to maneuver around me to get to Peeta somehow. Peeta has his hands planted firmly on my upper arms, holding me against him. The hardness I felt pressing into me moments earlier is still there and I know the last thing he wants is for Gale to see him in this state.

“Gale, just calm down, let me explain,” Peeta tries to reason with him.

“What the fuck is there to explain? You’re fucking Katniss, man! You know she’s like my little sister!” Gale retorts angrily.

“Gale!” I practically scream at him to get his attention. He looks me in the eye for the first time since he walked into the kitchen. He immediately looks away though and I feel hurt that now he suddenly can’t stand to even look at me because he saw me....being intimate with someone.

“Would you just take a second and breath? You have no reason to be upset, okay?” I tell him.

“I have every reason to be upset,” he mutters, shooting daggers at Peeta. 

“I’m not twelve anymore,” I tell him, “You don’t have to protect me. I know you’re just trying to look out for me, but you don’t have to. I can look out for myself.”

It’s like he didn’t even hear a single word that came out of my mouth the way he’s looking at Peeta. I know if I weren’t standing between them right now these two would be exchanging punches.

“We still live next to campus man, you can get any piece of college ass you want and you have to go after Katniss?”

I literally flinch at his words, so hurt I stare at the floor, trying to hold back the tears.

“It’s not like that at all,” Peeta replies, his voice steady. “It’s the exact opposite of that, okay? We’re not just hooking up, she’s not just some piece of ass to me...” he trails off and I look up at Gale whose face has fallen, now looking perplexed.

“I...I’m in love with her...I’ve been in love with her for a while...”

That does it. The tears start coming. I turn around in Peeta’s arms, completely ignoring Gale. He looks down at me, a small smile playing on his lips. He tilts my chin so I’m looking up at him.

“Katniss....I love you.”

A half sob, half gasp of relief escapes me before I can help it. Before I can break down in tears I close the distance between us, capturing his lips in a kiss. I throw my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me.

I had hoped...wished...prayed...that maybe he felt this way because in the middle of all the ecstasy I realized that it felt like more than just sex, it felt like we were actually making love. It wasn’t just two people who have always had it bad for each other finally giving in and fucking each other’s brains out. It was two people who had been friends, who had been as close and intimate as two people can be without getting physical, for the past 4 years, finally crossing that bridge together. 

We break away after a moment, still aware that there is someone else in the room. I lean my forehead against his, tears rolling down my cheek, smiling so wide my cheeks hurts.

“I love you too,” I whisper and he grins, pulling me closer.

I remember that Gale is still here so I turn around to face him. Peeta wraps his arms around my waist, resting them against my stomach as he holds me against him.

Gale looks like someone just hit him over the head with a sledge hammer. He’s staring at the pair of us like we have three heads.

“I don’t...I thought...” he trails off, words failing him.

“Gale...I’ve liked Peeta for a long time...like since freshmen year. But nothing ever happened because he wanted to be a good friend to you.”

Gale still seams to be having a hard time comprehending any of this.

“It’s true, man,” Peeta interjects. “Tonight is the first time we’ve ever even kissed.”

Finally, Gale can only seem to get out one word. “Oh,” he says, scratching his head.

“We’re sorry you had to find out like this, but I promise you we’re not just fooling around,” I tell him, stepping out of Peeta’s arms and moving closer to him.

“Yeah...” he says, still looking like he’s having a hard time grasping all this new information. “Yeah, I mean...I could always tell you guys were really close friends...and you were always flirting, but I...” he trails off. He pauses and then shakes his head to clear it.

“Well, I mean...I guess...” He looks between us for a moment. “I’m happy for you guys. I don’t exactly want to have to see what you guys were doing in here earlier ever again, but uh....congrats? I guess.”

I can’t help but laugh, relieved that a huge altercation has been avoided. “Thanks, Gale.”

“I’d hug you guys, but you’re both barely wearing clothes, so um yeah...I’m going to go back to bed.”

“Thanks man,” Peeta says. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Gale nods and then disappears down the hall to his bedroom.

I turn back to Peeta and we share relieved smiles.

I move towards him and he takes me in his arms. I rest my head against his shoulder and take deep, calming breaths.

“Glad that’s out of the way,” I mumble against his skin.

“I know,” Peeta agrees. “I’m glad we don’t have to try and keep this a secret from him or anything.”

I pull back and look at him, a smile creeping across my face. I wonder if he can see the sudden mischievous glint in my eyes. “I don’t know, keeping it a secret from him could be fun...I mean you heard him...he doesn’t want to know what we do when we’re alone.” 

When I say this I lean in and whisper the words into his ear, my hot breath against his skin. When I finish I run my tongue along the outer edge of his ear and the bite down softly on his ear lobe.

I pull away, raising my eyebrows at him suggestively. I undo a few buttons on the shirt of his I’m wearing and then turn away, sauntering back towards his bedroom. I only take a couple of steps before I hear him come charging after me, gathering me up in his arms and taking me back to his room where he has his way with me for the rest of the night.

X

“Who wants popcorn?” Gale asks before putting the DVD in.

“Not me, I’m stuffed,” I respond, plopping down on the couch.

We just had our first official double date - me and Peeta, and Gale and Madge. Since it was still really early we decided to go back to the boy’s place for a movie after the restaurant. Gale has been surprisingly chill about me and Peeta since that night he found out. It was a little weird for him at first, his best friend with the girl he grew up with, but I think he accepts it now. 

He’s always pretty vocal about his displeasure when he sees us kiss or be affectionate with each other though. I think it probably has to do with the way he found out about us in the first place, practically walking in on Peeta fingering me. I get that it makes him feel weird, but I’m not going to change how I act around my boyfriend just for his comfort.

Gale sits down on the love seat adjacent to the couch and pulls Madge down on his lap. Peeta kills the lights in the room and then joins me on the couch. 

As the movie starts Peeta grabs a blanket nearby and throws it over the pair of us, putting his arm around my shoulder and pulling me closer. I lean into him, loving the feel of his warm body pressed against mine, loving the scent of him. Out of the corner of my eye I see Gale glance back at us from his seat, eyeing us warily.

I know it’s dark but I still roll my eyes at him and bite back a snarky comment telling him to mind his own business.

I rest my head against Peeta’s shoulder and relax into him, watching the opening scenes of the movie. After a while though it becomes pretty apparent that being this close with Peeta is really distracting and giving me a lot of other ideas for what we could be doing besides watching this movie.

I sneak my hand up and under his shirt, trailing my nails against the hard, muscled flesh of his abdomen. He makes a low growl of approval in the back of his throat. I then decide to lower my hand to cup the bulge in his pants, letting him know exactly what I want at the moment.

He groans, a quiet, but definitely noticeable sound that causes Gale to turn and look back at us from his seat. His eyes survey the pair of us cuddled together under the blanket carefully, before slowly turning back to the movie.

I make an annoyed sound, about two seconds from asking him what his problem is before Peeta pulls me tighter against him. 

He leans in and lets his lips hover next to my ear for a moment, his warm breath tickling my skin. “Don’t worry about it,” he whispers placing his big, rough hand on my bare thigh. 

“I grabbed this blanket for a reason” He says, letting his hand sneak up my thigh, moving under the hem of my denim skirt.

I suck in my breath, my heart beat starting to pick up as I feel myself getting wet. His hand hovers dangerously close to the place where I want him most, resting on my inner thigh. Just the thought of what he can do to me, the anticipation of his touch has my lower belly clenching in desire. 

“But you have to be very quiet,” he breathes into my ear before slipping his hand past my underwear, pushing two fingers deep inside me.

I gasp and barely manage to hold back a groan, biting down on my bottom lip hard.

“You’re always so wet for me,” Peeta mumbles against my hair, letting his lips find their way to my neck where he starts planting hot kisses.

My breathing starts coming in ragged gasps, he feels so good and I can’t believe that we’re actually getting away with this right now. Gale and Madge are no more than 10 feet away from us and the thrill of getting caught, of them seeing that we want each other so bad that we can’t keep our hands off each other, just makes it that much hotter. 

Despite my best efforts, I can’t help the small moans that escape me as he starts to circle my clit, flicking the pad of his thumb over it slowly and applying just the right amount of pressure.

Suddenly, however, the loud volume from the movie stops and Peeta halts his movements. We both freeze, coming back to reality and looking over at Gale who has started to get up from his seat. For a second I’m positive he knows what we were doing and he is ready to attack Peeta or worse. 

Instead, he stands up with Madge in his arms.

“I’m going to go put her in my bed, so she can sleep,” he explains, moving down the hall towards his bedroom. “She passed out about 5 minutes in,” he laughs, “be right back.”

I breathe a sigh of relief, so glad he has no idea what is going on under this blanket.

“That was close,” Peeta chuckles once he’s out of ear shot.

I elbow him in the ribs playfully. “You really think it’s a good idea to make me come when Gale is in the room?” I ask, a little hesitant to continue now despite how good his hands were making me feel.

Peeta shrugs and pulls me onto his lap so my back is flush against his chest. He pulls the blanket up to cover us both even better. 

“I always think it’s a good idea to make you come,” he says, wrapping his arms around my waist, pressing me into him so I can feel his arousal against my back. “I love making you fall apart,” he breathes and I feel the desire continue to pool between my legs.

As much as the logical part of me knows that what we’re doing is crazy and if we were to actually get caught the repercussions would be horrifying, I’m also inexplicably enticed by the idea of doing this behind Gale’s back. Well, not technically behind his back, we’re in the same room as him and he obviously knows we’re a couple. But the idea of basically doing it right under his nose, risking the chance of being caught red handed is making me horny as hell. 

In the back of my mind I’m sure this all stems from four years of repressed bitterness and anger that he was the reason it took Peeta and I so long to finally be together, but I push those thoughts away when I hear him coming back down the hall.

“Alright, sorry about that,” Gale says, flopping back down on the love seat and pressing ‘play’ for the movie.

The loud volume from the TV fills the room again and Peeta begins to tug at my skirt, pulling it up and past my hips so he has full access. I let him do whatever he wants to me, giving up on trying to stop him or reconsider this risky little game we’re playing because his hands feel so good. This time he presses the palm of his hand flat against my lower stomach and then slides it lower, disappearing into my underwear.

He cups me roughly, putting the perfect amount of pressure and friction against my clit. I barely manage to bite my lip to prevent moaning in bliss. 

“Be quiet,” he commands me, biting down on my ear lobe with his teeth.

My eyes almost roll to the back of my head.

How can he possibly expect me to maintain any form of self control when he’s doing these things to me? And I know he knows the effect he has on me because I can feel his grin against my neck.

Without warning he starts pumping two fingers in and out of me as his thumb finds my clit again. I let out a whimper, gasping for air as I struggle to not to cry out in ecstasy.

“You like that,” he says as his pace starts to pick up. He doesn’t ask, he just knows. He has studied my body like a textbook since we first got together, since we became official. He said it was making up for lost time and I have no problems with that. 

“You want it harder,” he adds, again not questioning or guessing, just knowing.

He says things a lot of the time in the middle of us being intimate that makes me wonder how he ever held back from just having his way with me for 4 years. They’re rough and commanding and dirty things that make me certain of his desire for me as well as the fact that he is not the holy, innocent figure I once thought.

My eyes briefly flicker over to Gale, but his attention is focused solely on the movie. I wonder if Peeta’s arm moving is too obvious, but the blanket covering us is thick and heavy and we’re pretty well concealed. I throw my head back as his fingers pound into me, his thumb working it’s magic against my clit. I’m ready to come undone, desperate to get off right here and now. The fact that it is in Gale’s presence without him knowing is almost like a silly little mode of revenge for keeping me from this for so long. I can feel my legs starting to tense up, my entire body ready to explode.

I’m so close to the edge and I don’t know how I’m going keep a grip on my composure because I can feel my release about to hit me hard. With one last thrust, his fingers deep inside me and his hips pushing roughly into my backside I break apart, my body going limp against him. I cry out slightly, a quick noise that Peeta quickly muffles by covering my mouth with his other hand.

Luckily my orgasm just so happened to coincide with the big action scene towards the end of the movie so the noise was loud enough to cover my little slip up and keep Gale from noticing anything suspicious.

My body is limp against his, still basking in the after glow as waves of pleasure keep rolling through me. He brushes back the sweaty hair from my forehead and just holds me to him. 

He presses a kiss to my temple and tells me he loves me.

When my breathing finally returns to normal and I come back down to earth, I turn slightly in his arms so I can gaze up at him. He has a slightly mischievous, and pretty self-satisfied, look in his eyes. 

“You think he noticed anything?” I whisper.

Peeta simply shrugs. “Probably not, seeing as he would have tried to kick my ass by now. But like we said, keeping what we do when we’re alone a secret from him is fun,” he laughs.

“Fun is one way to put it,” I tell him, joining our lips in a kiss.

I would actually go for incredibly hot and kind of wrong, but in all the right ways.

X

Peeta and Gale finally had to move out of their house by campus. They found a nice place in a 4 home unit that was closer to the city and actually had a decent amount of space, with a little side yard and 3 rooms. Madge and I found our own place barely 10 minutes away so we are over at each other’s places all the time. 

It’s Saturday afternoon when I wake up in Peeta’s bed alone. I’m naked and I reach out across the bed, searching for his warm body, but instead I find nothing. I frown at his absence, my eyes still closed as I remember last night. When the memories start coming back I get warm just thinking about it. 

We may have had one (or two or three) margaritas at this little Mexican restaurant we wanted to try. It was just me and him and it was our first night out alone together in what felt like weeks. Having a full time job sucks and I desperately miss the days when we were still in college and all we had to worry about were a few classes a week.

After we finished dinner we took a cab back here, but not before some intense foreplay in the dark little backseat of the car. Fueled by the alcohol and the pent up frustration of not being intimate as often as we would like lately, we spent hours in this bed making each other fall apart. 

Memories of the things he did and said to me come rushing back and I feel myself blush even as the wetness gathers between my legs. I remember the way he told me he was ‘going to fuck me until I couldn’t walk straight’ and how he had buried his head between my legs and would not stop licking and sucking until I fell off the cliff multiple times. It’s all a little bit of a blur now, but I lost track of how many times he had me screaming his name until we finally passed out in exhaustion. 

I finally roll out of bed and throw on my favorite t-shirt of his that almost goes to my knees. After brushing my teeth I walk down the hall to the extra room they use as an office. The door is cracked open and like I expected Peeta is at the big mahogany desk, working on something for work I’m sure. He’s dressed in nothing but a wife beater and loose grey sweatpants. 

I stand at the doorway for a moment, debating whether or not I should interrupt him. I’m sure he has important things to take care of for work, he wouldn’t be spending his Saturday in here if that wasn’t the case. 

Ultimately I decide that I just can’t resist him because last night was amazing and I’m tingling just thinking about it and I love him.

“Hey,” I greet him, slipping into the room quietly.

He lights up when he sees me, turning away from his computer as I move around the desk. It’s one of those really big bulky desks with lots of drawers and only an opening on the side where the seat of the chair goes under the desk.

“Hey you,” he grins as I take a seat on his lap.

“Stuff for work?” I ask as he presses a kiss to my exposed shoulder.

“Yes, unfortunately,” he sighs, “I was hoping to knock it all out real quick so I could get back to you in bed and we could relive last night.

I smile, running my hands over his exposed broad shoulders. “It was pretty amazing,” I agree. “You’re amazing,” I add leaning in to kiss his neck. I let my lips travel up to the spot right below his ear.

He groans in approval, pulling me tighter against him. When I start to kiss along his jaw, feeling the stubble tickle my lips, I feel him growing hard beneath me, creating a tent like effect in his loose sweat pants.

“I think you could use a treat for working so hard,” I tell him, sliding down his body. so I’m sitting on my heels on the floor in front of him. I tug his pants down, freeing his erection. The apex where my thighs meet starts to throb from the sight. “After all that work last night and you’re ready to go again,” I comment, impressed.

“With you I’m always ready to go,” he breathes out, scooting forward in the chair so his dick is right in front of my face.

I wrap my hand around the base of his shaft, bringing him to my lips. I let my tongue caress his tip slowly and then drag it up and down his length, making him wait until that moment when I wrap my lips around him completely. 

He groans and jerks his hips forward, encouraging me to take him.

“Do you want to be in my mouth?” I pant, resisting the urge to reach down and touch myself because I’m getting just as worked up as he is.

“Yes,” he chokes out.

I wrap my lips around his dick, moving my head down to take more of his length in. I swirl my tongue around his shaft, wanting to make it hot and warm and wet for him.

“Oh fuck, Katniss,” he pants, gathering all my hair in one of his hands and holding it away from my face. “You’re so fucking good at this,” he says, his hips starting to thrust slightly into my mouth, forcing me to take more of him.

I moan at his words, feeling the wetness pool between my legs. There is nothing that turns me on more than going down on him, knowing how much control I can have over his pleasure, knowing how much I can affect him. I place my hands on his thighs, bracing myself as I try and take him all the way into my mouth. 

He cries out when my nose touches the soft hairs that cover where his length begins. I pull back and start to lick slowly at the tip, running the pad of my tongue over the slit of his cock. 

“You taste so good,” I whimper, feeling my own need start to reach it’s peak between my legs. 

His hands are braced on my head as his dick seems to, impossibly somehow, get bigger and harder.

“I love fucking your mouth” He says as I suck on his length, his hips starting to make jerky little movements. When he says things like that in the heat of the moment I get so turned on I can’t think straight. I feel my inner walls clench in response to his statement. 

He’s panting heavily and I’m moaning and I know he is about to come and then without warning the door to the office opens.

I freeze in horror, instantly crawling fully underneath the desk so I’m completely hidden from view by whoever is on the other side at the door. Peeta scoots his chair as close to under the desk as well, his long, hard glorious cock still waiting for it’s release.

“Hey man,” I hear Gale’s voice from the doorway.

Of course it would be Gale.

“Umm...uhh....hi,” Peeta finally manages to get out.

I can’t help but laugh a little at how much of an effort it took Peeta just to form a simple greeting. Poor boy probably can’t even think straight right now.

“How’s work?” Gale asks and I have no option other than to quietly fume over his rude interruption. 

“Umm...what? Uhhh I mean...good!” Peeta manages to answer him. His dick is still hard and leaking from the tip and I just want him to tell Gale to get the fuck out of here so we can resume where we left off. 

Gale laughs, clearly able to tell something is off. “Okay, well umm...I actually wanted to talk to you about tomorrow...”

“Oh okay...” Peeta stutters, not really having a choice in the matter.

I, however, do. 

And I decide I’m not interested in waiting for Gale to leave anymore. I inch back towards Peeta’s dick, making sure to stay completely hidden under the desk. I wrap my hand around the base of his shaft and he starts a little at first, clearly surprised to feel my hand on him while Gale is still in the room.

“Yeah, so just so you know I invited a bunch of guys over from work to watch football. We’re going to be grilling outside and I already bought a bunch of stuff,” Gale begins to explain. 

I let my tongue trail from the base of his shaft up to the tip, running the smooth pad against the hard ridge of him. 

“Ohhh...”

I have to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing when I hear Peeta let a small groan escape his lips.

“Umm...are you okay, man?” Gale asks.

I pick up where I left off, taking his entire length in my mouth, sucking on him so he feels me all around him.

“Ya.....Yeah,” Peeta mumbles.

I brace my hands on his thighs and bob my head up and down, letting him know that I’m not about to hold back because Gale is still here.

“Okay, well....I just wanted to give you the heads up,” Gale explains. “I’ll get out of your hair.” He says before finally moving out of the room and closing the door behind him.

“Th-thanks,” Peeta gasps out after Gale has already left the room.

Once his brain processes that we’re alone again he leans back in his chair, allowing me to move out a little from under the desk.

I release him from my mouth and run my tongue over his tip again.

“Fuck Katniss, are you trying to kill me?” He groans, but the way his hands immediately tangle in my hair tells me he doesn’t want me to stop.

“No, I’m trying to get you to come,” I tell him and he responds by pushing himself further into my mouth with a grunt.

It’s not moments later when he finally explodes, the warm sticky substance filling up my mouth. I lick him until he’s clean as he collapses back in the chair, tired and satisfied. 

I get up off my knees and sit across his lap in the chair, throwing my arms around his neck. I plant soft kisses up his neck and across his jaw line until our lips finally meet.

“You’re amazing,” Peeta sighs.

“Because I give good head?” I ask him with wry smirk.

“Just one of many reasons,” he returns with a grin.

“If I’m good at it, it’s only because of you,” I return truthfully, “I love the feel of you in my mouth, I love knowing I’m giving you pleasure.”

Peeta responds by grabbing my hand and placing a kiss to my palm. “I feel the same way. In fact,” he begins, wrapping his arms around my hips.

In one quick motion he moves me from his lap to the top of the desk, my butt resting at the edge. He jumps out of his chair quickly and moves around the desk to the door and I hear him lock it.

“I think I want to return the favor right now,” he says, coming back over to the chair and sitting down. “But I definitely don’t want an audience this time.”

He pushes up the long shirt I’m wearing, exposing me completely.

“Mmm, perfect,” he murmurs pressing his face between my legs. His nose grazes my clit and I can feel his hot breathe and his warm lips against my folds.

He uses his tongue to lick at the wetness that has already gathered there and I immediately cry out, arching my back and tugging at his hair with my hands.

“Do you like it when I lick your pussy Katniss?”

And there it is again, this wild, feral, dirty talking part of Peeta that drives me insane. This part of him that reminds me he is most definitely not a Saint. He can make me fall apart with just his words.

“Yes!” I practically shout.

He starts using his fingers in tandem with his mouth. Pushing two fingers inside me, curling them so they hit just the right spot as his tongue assaults my clit.

It doesn’t take much longer before I’m shattering into a million pieces, fire shooting through my limbs, making my mind go blank.

Yes, it was definitely a good idea to come in here and interrupt his work.

X

I inspect my appearance in the bathroom mirror of the ultra fancy restaurant we’re eating at. I’m wearing probably the tightest dress I own, a black thing that fits my body like a glove. It has cuffed sleeves and a sheer see-through material above my breast line. I turn slightly on my toes, inspecting the way my behind pops out and how the dress ends just past where the curve meets my leg.

I can’t help smiling when I remember the look on Peeta’s face when I told him that I wasn’t wearing any underwear tonight. I bite my lip as I realize the 2 glasses of wine I’ve already had have gone straight to my head. 

We’re at this super ritzy restaurant that we can’t really afford because Gale and Peeta’s old roommates who they used to live with in the house by campus, Finnick and Thresh, are back in town for the weekend. Finnick, surprising everyone, showed up with a girlfriend, who was nice, sweet, and beautiful. Her name is Annie and she’s quiet, but she makes him smile. Thresh even brought his little sister, Rue, who is a senior in high school and wanted to take a tour of the campus because she’s considering applying here.

It has been 2 1/2 years since Peeta and I first got together and he still gives me butterflies sometimes with just a simple look. We have been so unbelievably happy together it feels like a dream. He is my best friend and I love him more every day. That supposed ‘honeymoon’ period where you can’t keep your hands off each other and everything is super intense hasn’t really gone away for us. 

I always think about how it took so long for us to get together, that we basically spent the first 4 years just becoming friends. There was always a lot of sexual tension and I think in some way the fact that we waited, because of Peeta’s little hang up about being loyal to Gale, was a good thing. I’m not sure we would be as good together, that we would be in as strong of a relationship, if we hadn’t waited before taking it to the next level.

I’ll never tell him this though. I always like teasing him about the fact he made us wait so long.

I walk out of the restroom with my head down, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other so I don’t trip in my sky high heels. I’m walking down the narrow hallway that leads to the main dining area when I run into a solid body.

I feel two hands snake around my waist immediately to steady me.

“Whoa,” I hear my boyfriend chuckle, “you need to watch where you’re going.”

I raise my head to look into his ocean blue eyes and laugh. “I might be a little drunk,” I admit sheepishly, locking my hands around his neck and threading my fingers through his hair.

He lowers his mouth so it hovers near my ear. “I might be too,” he whispers and I break out into giggles. He silences me almost immediately, capturing my lips in a kiss. The kiss starts to pick up heat, his tongue sliding slowly into my mouth to stroke my own softly. I moan and pull him closer against me, I need him so much closer. 

When we finally break apart I’m breathing heavily and there is an intense throbbing between my legs. My arms snake around his hips and I pull him so he is flush against me. I feel his length against my lower belly and my need for him grows.

Peeta’s hands slide down from my hips to my ass, cupping my behind and squeezing roughly. “God, I want you,” he breathes, dipping his head to kiss my neck. The hallway we’re standing in is dark and narrow and there is no one around but us and the alcohol is making my brain fuzzy, blocking out all rational thought and only letting me focus on the man in my arms. 

“I want you right now,” I pant, biting down on his ear lobe because I know it always gets him hard instantly.

He groans in response, as if confirming this fact.

Before I can over think what I’m doing I grab his hand and tug him back in the direction of the bathrooms. I push through the men’s room door and start kissing him before he can ask what I’m doing. In the back of my mind I realize we just got extremely lucky that no one is in here right now.

Peeta kisses me back with just as much passion, tangling his hand in my hair and dropping the other one to my behind. When he pulls away he surprises me by not trying to bring us back to our senses.

“Are we really doing this?” He asks, leaning his forehead against mine.

“Yes,” I reply immediately, only listening to what my body wants and forgetting about common sense. “Yes we are,” I confirm, pressing my palm over the bulge in his pants.

He tugs me into the first stall and closes it behind us.

“Good. Because I want to be inside you,” he replies. 

Luckily this restaurant is so nice that these bathrooms are practically immaculate so it doesn’t feel like we’re doing this somewhere dirty and gross. The stall has stone marble walls and a door that is made of wood with a real handle.

My hands immediately go to his belt buckle, knowing this needs to be as quick as possible. I push his pants down past his hips and then free him from his boxers, stroking him up and down and finding him already hard.

“Oh god,” he moans when he pulls away from the kiss. He jerks into my hand and then he starts to tug my dress up past my hips.

“You picked a good night not to wear any underwear,” he comments and I start laughing.

He turns around quickly and kicks the lid down on the toilet seat. He sits down on top of it and then pulls me down so I’m straddling his lap. I hook my arm around his shoulder and then reach down and grasp him, guiding him into my entrance.

We moan in unison when he pushes into me all the way.

“You’re so wet,” Peeta pants, resting his head against my chest as his hands grip onto my hips firmly. He starts to control our movements, pushing into me agonizingly slowly and then pulling out almost all the way, only to repeat the same sweet torture.

I’m gasping for air, overcome by how good this feels and how crazy hot it is that we’re doing this right now. I’m making little sighs and whimpers every time he pushes into me and I’m just about to tell him harder when we hear the door to the bathroom swing open.

“Peeta! You in here?” We hear Gale’s very loud voice call out.

He’s clearly drunk, there’s a slight slur to his words and I know he had about 4 rum and cokes at dinner.

Peeta and I both freeze, locking eyes as we realize the position we find ourselves in once again, being intimate right under Gale’s nose.

This seems to be a common theme in our relationship. 

Peeta swallows thickly and then eventually replies. “Yeah,” he calls out, but Gale doesn’t seem to really care anymore. We hear him over by the urinals singing his favorite song out loud.

“Oh man, I’m so drunk,” we hear Gale say to no one in particular. 

Once we realize that Gale isn’t really in the right frame of mind to pay attention or notice much of anything at the moment we start to relax a little. Peeta raises his eyebrows at me playfully and starts moving his hips again.

I gasp as he reaches down and starts to rub my clit. I have to bite down on my bottom lip to try and keep myself from moaning too loudly. In the back of my mind I realize it probably wouldn’t matter though because Gale is stumbling around the restroom talking to himself he’s so intoxicated.

“Oh fuck,” I breathe when Peeta starts picking up his pace. He feels so good pushing into me as deep as he can and I can feel my body tightening in pleasure.

“I’m going to finish what we started,” Peeta whispers in my ear.

He slides his hands from my hips up and under my arms so he is grasping onto my shoulders, holding me in place. He has such a strong hold on me, keeping me in place, that when he continues to pound into me it only makes it that much harder and I feel like I’m about to break in two. He is driving into me at a furious pace and I’m so ready to come undone.

In an instant I cry out, quickly recovering and holding back my sounds of pleasure when I remember that we’re not totally alone. My body spasms uncontrollably and I collapse against him in sheer exhaustion, overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure overtaking me. 

I feel him throbbing inside me and I pull back to kiss him sweetly, just connecting our lips. 

“Love you,” he mumbles into my ear, wrapping his arms around me as we bask in the after glow.

“You fucking jerking off in there or what, man? Hurry up!” Gale’s voice interrupts the moment, bringing us back to reality. Luckily he still seems to be completely clueless as to what just happened.

“I’ll meet you out there,” Peeta calls to him and finally we hear him leave the restroom.

When he is finally gone I can’t help laughing a little at the whole situation.

“How do we always end up doing dirty things behind his back?” I ask as we start to clean up and put our clothes back together.

“Because he made it clear he doesn’t want to know what we do when we’re alone, remember?” Peeta laughs. “And maybe we both have some unresolved anger towards him for being the thing that kept us apart for so long,” he adds as we exit the restroom. 

“Probably,” I agree as we make our way back to our table, joining hands. 

“It was worth it though. You were worth it.” I add after a moment, just before we reach our table.

Peeta stops walking all of the sudden, making me stop with him. 

He looks at me for a long time, his eyes so intense and full of love it takes my breath away.

And then he gets down on one knee.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I can honestly say there is no way I would have written something for Everlark right now if it wasn't for my dearest friend Court81981's birthday (8.18) I have just not felt particularly inspired, but when she asked for something from the 'Saint Peeta' universe I was suddenly enthused about writing something I could give her as a gift.
> 
> So this is for you my love, thank you for being such a wonderful person, friend, writer, sounding board, and fellow fan girl. You are way too awesome and I am so lucky to have you in my corner. You never fail to put a smile on my face, thanks for being my better half in this fandom world :)
> 
> As for the piece itself, I HIGHLY suggest going back to re-read chapters 1 and 2 of this fic since this is sort of a missing scenes/outtakes kind of deal that explores more of this universe. Enjoy & HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURT ILY!

Freshman Year

My first Halloween at college is turning out to be a quite the adventure.

Slowly I realize I'm pretty much turning into your average college freshman. Getting drunk on the weekends with my friends, going to parties, and basically being an idiot.

But I like it.

As long as my studies don't suffer it's nice to just let loose and have fun. Not having the constant stress to take care of my mom and sister is so nice. Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling that way but it's true.

For Halloween Madge and I planned out our whole night. We got matching outfits at the local costume store—a skin tight, blue spandex dress that has a long zipper up the middle and says the word 'Police' on the chest—and bought two tickets on a party bus going to some club downtown.

We drank on the way there but when we got there we decided we weren't quite finished. We asked some guy to buy us drinks at the bar since it was an 18+ club and we didn't have the 21 & over wristband you needed to buy alcohol. But unfortunately that's when the club bouncer spotted us sipping on our martinis without the 21+ wristband and we got kicked out.

So now we are standing on the sidewalk outside the club waiting for Peeta to come pick us up.

I would be more embarrassed if I wasn't so drunk, but right now it just seems funny to me. Plus, I'm just so happy Peeta was nice enough to do this for us considering we would have had to take a 60 dollar cab ride back to campus without him. He was actually sleeping when we called him since he has a midterm tomorrow, but he assured us it was no big deal and that he would be here as soon as possible.

I'm pretending to listen to what Madge has to say while I keep an eye out for Peeta's car. I've only known him for a couple months now, but I know he is the first guy I've ever really, truly liked. He's the first guy I've felt like a silly, heartsick girl around. He's the first guy who has given me butterflies.

I'm giddy and smiling and completely infatuated when I'm around him. He's kind and sweet and so easy to talk to.

It also doesn't hurt that he is so damn hot.

I'm so smitten it's ridiculous.

I can't walk anywhere on campus without thinking I see the back of his blonde head. I can't go out to a party without constantly looking around for him. The fact that he's made it clear that he likes me, but that we can't do anything because of his friendship with Gale just makes me want him more.

Finally he pulls up to the curb and Madge purposefully slides into the backseat, leaving the front seat open for me while shooting me a wink and a grin.

"Thank you so much!" Madge gushes when we get settled and Peeta gets back on the road.

"Not a problem," he assures us while trying to stifle a yawn. "Couldn't pass up the chance to play knight in shining armor to you two lovely ladies."

"We would have called Gale, but he's back home this weekend obviously," Madge explains. "Which means that we like you best out of all his roommates," she adds with a laugh.

"I'm flattered," he chuckles.

"So you just can't stay out of trouble can you, Everdeen?" He asks after a moment, glancing over at me in the passenger seat with a crooked smile.

I blush and bite back a smile, looking down at my lap. "It's not our fault! They shouldn't have a bar at an 18+ club if they don't want us to drink," I explain, pretending to be indignant about the whole thing.

He laughs in response and we drive a while in silence before he speaks up again. "Those are uh...some outfits you girls got on."

This time my whole face heats and I look out the window quickly to hide my blush. I picked this outfit hoping Peeta would get to see me in it, I'm not going to lie.

"I know, right?" Madge chirps in like the perfect best friend. "God you should have seen how many guys were checking Katniss out."

"Hmm," Peeta makes a noise of acknowledgment, but doesn't say anything. When I turn to look at him I see his grip on the steering wheel has tightened and he is clenching his jaw, a sudden steely look on his face.

"Yeah right, they couldn't stop staring at Ms. Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes, Big Boobs over there," I reply, gesturing to Madge who rolls her eyes and laughs.

Finally, we pull up to our dorm at campus and Madge is out of the car so fast I just barely make out her thanking Peeta and explaining that she has to use the bathroom before she bursts.

When she's gone I sit in the front seat of Peeta's car wanting to make this moment last as long as possible. We laugh at the sight of Madge sprinting across the quad in her scandalous blue police costume towards our dorm.

"Thanks again for picking us up."

"Anytime," Peeta replies putting the car in park and turning the engine off. I take a deep breath, preparing myself for what could happen sitting here alone in the car with him.

I realize that my buzz has slowly worn off and as I stare down at the ridiculous outfit I'm wearing a deep sense of embarrassment overcomes me. I rest my head in my hands and shake my head, laughing silently.

"God, what was I thinking wearing this tonight? I look like a hooker," I joke.

"You definitely do not look like a hooker," Peeta replies.

"I had to do like 2 shots before I could even put it on I was embarrassed just looking at it."

"Hmm...you doing shots, getting dressed...presumably Madge was there, maybe you guys had a pillow fight...not a bad image I got to tell you."

I burst out laughing and playfully smack him on the chest.

"There wasn't a whole lot to the getting dressed part though," I say, letting my hand go to the zipper that starts right at my cleavage, teasingly inching it down just a bit.

His face goes slack as he eyes my breasts, his breathing becoming labored.

"Oh God," he mumbles, tearing his eyes away. "You look so damn good. Like all the time. It should be a crime." He laughs and runs a hand through his hair. "Officer Everdeen you should consider putting yourself in custody."

His words send a pleasant thrill through me, but I also frown when I consider them further. He always does this. He is always flirting with me, saying things that make me think that something could happen between us.

He must see my face fall as I think about this because his face gets serious too and he looks away.

"I want you Peeta," I tell him bluntly. "But if nothing is going to happen between us don't say things like that and make it that much harder."

He takes a deep breath and doesn't say anything for a long moment.

Finally, he turns back to me with an apologetic look. "You're right, I'm sorry. It's getting late and I got to be up early tomorrow."

I wince as I realize he's practically dismissed me from his car. I nod my head dumbly, thank him for the ride and get out of the car.

"Katniss!" He calls out when I'm a few steps away, already walking back to my dorm. "Please don't think that I don't want to, because I do...I really, really do. It's just..."

He trails off and I see the unfinished thought in his eyes.

Gale.

I nod my head in understanding and turn away to leave.

I might understand it, but that doesn't mean that I have to like it.

X

Sophomore Year

It's Thanksgiving break and Peeta has come home with me and Gale for the long weekend.

Gale says he wanted to show him around our home town, but Peeta confessed to me that he really just wanted an excuse not to go home and see his mother.

Riding in a car with the pair of them for 5 hours was blissful torture. Any time I get to spend with Peeta makes me happy, but Gale's presence was a depressing reminder of what has been keeping us apart.

On the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving we take Peeta out to some of the dive bars around town where everyone we went to high school with congregates for the annual bar crawl.

At the end of the night we find ourselves at Abernathy's, our favorite spot, having taken over the big table in the corner, catching up with old friends. We're all a few drinks in and Gale is on stage singing karaoke. Peeta and I are laughing so hard he's crying and my stomach hurts.

When the song ends Gale stumbles back to our table. "You're up, Catnip," he slurs.

"No way!" I protest.

The table cheers their support for the idea.

"Come on Katniss, grace us with that voice," Darius requests, winking at me.

"Yeah brainless, we want to hear you!" Johanna agrees.

I feel a warm hand on my leg and a raspy voice in my ear as Peeta leans over to me. "I wouldn't mind listening to Katniss Everdeen sing a little tune," he murmurs in my ear.

I feel myself flush and look down at my lap. I take a peek out of the corner of my eye to see that Gale has moved over to the bar and is ordering another round. No wonder Peeta is being extra friendly, if Gale isn't around he lets himself flirt with me shamelessly.

And I hate myself for enjoying it as much as I do.

I take a deep breath and then finish the last of my cocktail in one swig. I push Peeta on the shoulder to get him to move out of the booth, announcing that I'll do one song.

Everyone cheers for me as I make my way up to the little elevated stage and pick a song. I take a deep breath and make sure I lock eyes with Peeta before I start singing "These Arms of Mine" by Otis Redding. It's an old, soulful song and totally wrong for karaoke and this bar, but I don't care.

I look right at Peeta as I sing and I only vaguely notice that the chatter in the bar dies down a bit.

These arms of mine they are lonely

Lonely and feeling blue, these arms of mine

They are yearning, yearning from wanting you

The song ends and people start clapping really loudly. I make my way back to the table, hoping the dim lighting in the bar hides my blush.

"Katniss I think I'm in love," Darius jokes, placing a hand over his heart. "Seriously, when are you going to let me take you out to dinner sometime?" He asks and I laugh a little uncomfortably, not sure if he's just kidding anymore. He's always made flirty comments to me, but I never took him seriously. Looking at him now though it doesn't seem like it's just the alcohol speaking.

Before I have to answer, Peeta speaks up. "Sorry, Darius, but Katniss is going to go out with me before anyone else. She's already told me so."

My stomach flips. He says it in a joking manner where it can just be played off as simple teasing and banter between boys. But the look he shoots me is smoldering and intense and my chest aches because I wish he wasn't joking more than anything.

Before anyone can say or do anything else Gale returns to the table with another pitcher of beer and takes the seat I had been sitting in next to Peeta. I flop down next to Johanna and try not to think about that little exchange.

A little while later in the middle of a loud conversation at the table Peeta's cell phone goes off and when he looks at it he frowns and then gets up. I'm the only one who really notices him leaving and my eyes follow him as he moves to the back door of the bar and steps outside to take the call.

I frown, wondering who would be calling him at this hour and who would be so important that he'd leave his friends to talk to.

I try and play it cool but when 5, 10, 15 minutes go by and he still hasn't come back I start to get worried. I slip away from the group practically unnoticed and make my way to the back door to step outside.

"Yeah, well I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment."

Peeta's voice freezes me in my tracks as I close the back door quietly behind me. We're out in small courtyard behind the bar and he's pacing back and forth, still on his cell phone. He looks up and meets my eyes and instead of looking mad or annoyed that I've come out here and eavesdropped on his call, he gives me a sad smile and shrugs his shoulders helplessly.

I fold my arms across my chest and lean back against the wall, waiting until his call is over.

"Well, it's been great talking to you too, mom," he says, running his hand through his hair exasperatedly. "Listen I got to go, I'll call you when I'm back at school."

He hangs up the phone and gives a small, pained sort of laugh.

"You okay?" I ask quietly.

"Fine...just, my mother..." he says evasively, waving it off.

I frown taking a step closer to him until we're inches away from each other. "You don't have to do that you know. You don't have to pretend like it doesn't bother you. You can talk to me about it. I want to listen."

He takes a deep breath and looks at me like he's seeing me for the first time. "Sorry, you're right. I'm just so used to playing it off. I guess it's not the coolest thing when a guy my age complains about how mean their own mother is to them."

"That's awful," I say, hating the fact that anyone, let alone his own mother, could treat Peeta so poorly.

He sighs and shakes his head, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "It's just...it sucks when she's constantly reminding me how nothing I ever do is good enough."

"You're the best person I know Peeta," I tell him honestly. "I don't know how anyone could look at you and not see that."

He looks at me for a long moment and my heart stutters at the intensity in his eyes. And then he puts his arms around me and I melt into him, loving the feel of his body against mine.

I love that my head fits perfectly in the space above his chest and under his shoulder. I love that he holds his arms together at my waist so I'm effectively locked in his embrace. I love that his face is buried in my hair and I can sense him inhaling the smell of my shampoo.

I run my hands up and down the hard muscles of his back, just wanting to touch him.

"Katniss..." he murmurs, dropping a hand down to my behind and squeezing it gently.

I moan and instantly feel the wetness pool between my legs. My clit throbs in response as he moves his head to the crook of my neck and starts planting kisses against my skin.

Although it's not where I want him to kiss me, it feels like heaven to finally have his lips on me. I hold him tighter and relish this rare moment where he's vulnerable and drunk and not playing the Saint Peeta role.

"Peeta," I whimper, moving my hips in a circular motion to show him how needy I am for his touch.

His lips move up my neck until he is gently biting down on my ear lobe with his teeth.

"Fuck," I groan, pulling him to me more urgently. I need him. I need him between my legs. I need him to just kiss me and tell me he loves me, because I'm certain I've fallen in love with him.

"God I want to kiss you," he says in a breathy moan, and I squeeze my eyes shut. I am so wet and ready for him, but my heart responds with a pang at those words because it just reminds me that he won't actually do it.

He'll just torture me by talking about how he wants to.

"Kiss me then...please," I practically beg him, letting my lips trail across the defined line of his jaw. I feel him suck in a breath and when I press into him I feel his hardness against my lower abdomen.

He pulls back and looks at me and I know he's going to do it. He's leaning in towards me when the back door of the bar opens and some random drunk guy apologizes for interrupting us and then asks if we have a lighter.

I'm so mad I could scream, but Peeta looks relieved if anything. He tells the guy we can't help him out with a lighter and then holds the door open for me as we make our way back inside to our group at the table.

The rest of the weekend at home Peeta makes sure not to be too flirty towards me.

And I just have to grin and bear it.

X

Junior Year

My head hurts.

I've been crying for the past several hours. My eyes are red and my throat is raw and the god damn past month has just completely sucked.

Things have been awkward between me and Peeta since Gale's work party where we got into a fight. Well, it wasn't really a fight as it was me yelling at him and expressing my frustration with him about the way things are between us, the way he has pushed me away all this time.

We've barely talked since and it did nothing to help my mood with the anniversary of my father's death approaching.

The anniversary that is today and has hit me harder than usual. I guess because today is 10 years since my father passed away and to think that he's been gone for that long is too much. I miss him so much. I remember him teaching me how to swim and how to shoot a bow like it was just yesterday.

I'm angry and sad and don't understand how it can still hurt this much after all this time. To make matters worse, Prim and I got into an argument last night because I told her I can't come home this weekend because of school. She accused me of just not wanting to deal with her and mom and the anniversary of dad's death and I got pissed because she's right.

I've been facing it since I was 11 years old though and I decided I deserve a break from it all for once. I deserve to be able to just hide from the pain and be weak and not have to be strong for everyone else.

I'm flipping through the channels on TV mindlessly, debating whether to go get a glass of water to soothe my aching throat, when there's a knock at my door.

I open the door to find Peeta standing there holding a brown paper bag.

"Umm..uh hi," I mumble, suddenly very aware of how awful I look. I'm in my most unflattering pajamas, my hair hasn't been washed or combed in days, and I'm sure my face is blotchy and bloated from all the crying.

You would never know it though the way Peeta is looking at me.

He grins and I ask, "What are you doing here?"

"I have treats," he laughs holding up the bag in his hands. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," I respond, opening the door wider to let him in.

"I got your favorite soup and sandwich combo from Sae's Deli. I have movies, I have popcorn, and I have candy," he explains happily, unloading the bag on my dining table.

I shake my head to clear it, confused for a moment as to what's going on here. "Peeta..." I begin carefully, "didn't you have plans tonight? Madge mentioned some alumni function you and Gale were going to."

"Yeah, well I blew it off," he says with a shrug. "I didn't even really want to go and I'd much rather be here with you." He takes a deep breath before he turns to face me more fully and continues. "I've missed you...and I know things have been kinda weird between us lately and I hate it. I hate not talking to you. I can't just not have you in my life Katniss."

The lump in my throat comes on fast and I have to quickly blink back tears. I'm suddenly so overwhelmed at the idea of Peeta showing up here tonight when I need him the most, telling me he misses me as much as I miss him.

I don't say anything. I just take a step forward and wrap my arms around him.

He holds me close and for once I'm not worried about whether or not things will go further between us. In this moment I'm just so grateful that he's here, that he's my friend, that he cares about me.

"Thank you," I whisper against his chest that is now wet from my tears.

He smiles at me, kisses my forehead and then proceeds to lay out the food he brought.

We eat and talk and laugh. We watch Old School and then surf the channels while I make us ice cream sundaes. We essentially have the best night I've had in a long time and it's such a far cry from how I felt earlier today when it is all said and done that it's hard to believe how miserable I was early.

"It's been 10 years since my dad died today," I blurt out during a moment of silence, the words leaving me on their own volition.

Peeta looks over at me and doesn't say anything for a while. Then he pulls me into his arms and I take a deep, shuddering breath as the tears threaten to return.

"I'm sorry," he says, kissing the top of my head. "I'm so sorry, Katniss."

"You made it hurt less just by being here," I tell him, my cheeks wet now.

And for the rest of the night we don't say much, but there's not much that needs to be said.

He's here.

That's all that matters.

X

Senior Year

I have been kidding myself.

For a while I almost had myself convinced that I was over the whole idea of Peeta and I. I tried to make myself realize that we were never going to happen and that I should just accept it and move on. I should just be grateful to have him in my life and be his friend. I should try dating other guys and I should hope he finds someone who makes him happy.

I have even been keeping my distance a little bit as of late, knowing that being around him just makes it that much harder. Being around him is just a constant reminder of what I can't have.

And for a while I thought I was okay. I thought I had been doing fairly good job of acting like not being with him doesn't hurt.

But clearly I was wrong.

The boys are having a fairly large get together for Gale's birthday at their apartment and there are a good more amount of people here than their normal weekend party. So much that I don't recognize almost half of them and I have to squeeze by people to get a drink in the kitchen and then maneuver my way back to the living room.

Somehow I get stuck talking to their other roommate Cato who is nice enough but is just dumb as a rock. He's actually telling me about how wasted he got last night and it feels like I've been stuck here listening to him for 20 minutes, nodding my head and sipping my drink.

But then across the room and through the crowd of people, I spot something that makes my stomach twist uncomfortably.

Peeta is talking to a tall, gorgeous blonde. He's laughing loudly and leaning into her.

I feel sick.

My heart starts pounding furiously and suddenly, out of nowhere I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack. It's sad and pathetic and completely ridiculous, but seeing him with this blonde is terrifying because it reminds me that since we're not together, and seemingly never will be, there is nothing to stop him from going out with any other woman he wants.

Since we met he hasn't been in a relationship with anyone and he hasn't even really dated all that much. It's been my one saving grace all these years that if we can't be together at least he hasn't been with anyone else.

That you know of, a nasty voice in the back of my mind reminds me.

I shake my head to clear it and then excuse myself from the one-sided conversation with Cato. I make my way through the crowd and feel someone grab my arm.

I look up and see Gale frowning down at me in concern. "You okay, Catnip?"

I must look like I've just seen a ghost or something so I try and snap myself out of it and offer him a weak smile. "What? Oh yeah. I just had to escape from that conversation with Cato," I offer with a weak laugh. "He was recounting how many jello shots he did last night."

Gale laughs and seems to accept this excuse for my current state. I quickly glance back over in Peeta's direction and catch him still talking to the blonde. She's reaching out and touching his bicep and laughing at something he's just said.

I want to claw her eyes out.

"You met Glimmer yet?"

I look back to Gale and he must see the confusion on my face so he points across the room at the blonde Peeta is talking to. "I work with her. She's hot and single so I told Peeta I'd invite her tonight," he laughs. "That dude needs to get laid. He hasn't got any in a loooong time."

I take several deep breaths to try and calm down, wanting nothing more to scream at Gale. I want to slap him and punch him and cry until he's feeling half as hurt and angry as I feel in this moment.

But instead I force a smile at him and nod weakly, excusing myself from the conversation.

I move to a specific part of the living room where I'm hidden from view but I can still discreetly watch Peeta and the blonde slut. I sip my drink slowly and realize not only am I complete stalker freak, but I have never even been close to being over Peeta.

I have been in love with him for a while now.

Finally, when the pair of them separate for a moment, Peeta going to refill their drinks, I make my move. Fueled by the alcohol and the incoherent rage flowing through me at the thought of Peeta with this blonde, I slowly approach her when she's alone.

I smile sweetly and introduce myself and make small talk. I ask her about working with Gale and nod my head politely and pretend to be interested in what she has to say.

"Sooo...a little birdie told me they're trying to set you up with Peeta?" I smile, like the idea doesn't make me cringe.

Glimmer laughs and licks her lips, tossing her hair back. "Yeah, I owe Gale big time for that one," she grins. "He is so fucking hot. Oh my god, I bet he's really good in bed too."

It takes everything inside me to keep the fake smile plastered on my face, but somehow I do.

"He is pretty hot," I agree. "And I actually hate to be the one to break it to you, but there's a reason he's still single."

She frowns and I continue. "He hasn't come out to a lot of people yet...especially his guy friends, but I've known him for almost 4 years so he felt comfortable telling me," I explain and gleefully watch her face fall with disappointment.

"You mean...he's gay?" She asks incredulously.

"Absolutely 100%," I lie through my teeth. "I was all excited about having a gay best friend, but he's not like that at all so we can't go shopping together or anything," I laugh.

"Well that blows," Glimmer pouts. "And he was totally flirting with me too," she whines.

"Yeah I think he tries to keep up appearances around his friends," I gesture to the room around us. "He's just not ready to come out out to everyone yet."

I console Glimmer for a few more minutes before I spot Peeta heading back in our direction. I excuse myself quickly and watch with a sick satisfaction as Glimmer coldly brushes him off and leaves him standing there alone.

I don't know what it says about me that I don't regret what I just did in the slightest.

The party dies down and later in the night only our close friends are still hanging around. Peeta doesn't seem too upset about Glimmer disappearing, but he declines a late night run for fast food when Madge insists she needs a burger and fries.

I go with them and when we get back Peeta is asleep in his room and I realize I'm way too tired and still a little drunk to be driving home. I collapse on the usual couch and Gale offers me a blanket before he and Madge disappear down the hall into his room.

I lie there alone in the dark for 10 or 15 minutes thinking about what I did tonight. I think about Peeta asleep in his bed. I think about how I made myself come last night thinking about him.

I throw the blanket off me and quietly tip toe down the the hall.

I slip into his room and shut the door behind me silently. My heart clenches in my chest when I see that he's sleeping in nothing but his boxers. I close my eyes and make another rash decision I know I won't regret.

I peel my jeans down my legs and then pull my tank top off, leaving me in nothing but my bra and panties. I grab one of Peeta's shirts that's hanging over his desk chair and throw it on before climbing into bed with him.

I slide in behind him, my chest pressing into his back and my arms wrapping around his hard, flat stomach.

He stirs and turns back to look at me, his eyes squinting through the haze of sleep.

"Katniss?" He croaks out.

"Can I sleep here?" I ask, my bare legs intertwining with his. I press my knee against his inner thigh and trail it upwards. His cock presses against me before he pulls his hips away.

"Umm...uhh...yah sure," he mumbles, still clearly half asleep.

He moves onto his back and puts an arm around my shoulder as I rest my head on his chest. The sound of his steady heart beat lulls me into a sense of peace and calm.

"That blonde you were talking to tonight was hot..." I blurt out before I can stop myself. I can't help it. I can't just pretend like it didn't kill me to see them together.

"Ehh...she wore too much makeup and was kind of fake," he explains, rubbing his hand up and down my back.

I close my eyes, loving the feel of his hands on my body.

"Besides she totally blew me off anyways," he says with a laugh and I'm so relieved to hear that he doesn't sound too upset about it.

So relieved in fact that I find myself admitting what I did. "Probably because I told her you were gay," I say bluntly, laughing to lighten the mood.

"You did what?" He asks and I can't read his tone.

I look up at him, propping my chin on his chest. I draw circles on his skin with my fingers and avoid his eyes. "I hated seeing you with her. I hated the idea of you being with her," I explain in a weak voice. When he doesn't respond, I add timidly, "I'm sorry. I had no right."

He laughs, but there is no amusement in his voice. "How do you think I felt when you dated that guy Marvel for a couple months last year?"

My heart squeezes painfully in my chest and I close my eyes. Marvel was the guy I tried to date last year to convince myself I was over Peeta. He's the only guy I've ever been in a relationship with and I lost my virginity to him. Even just thinking about it now I regret it. It wasn't even that he was a bad guy, he just wasn't Peeta. When things ended between us I was mostly upset because I knew that being with anyone other than Peeta would never work.

"So you're not mad?" I venture carefully, still not quite meeting his eyes.

He laughs and runs a hand over my hair. "Not at all. If anything I owe you. She seemed like a nightmare. Totally high maintenance and super annoying."

I laugh and knot my hand with his, bringing it to my lips to kiss his knuckles. Suddenly I'm feeling so much bolder than I ever have before. Maybe it's what he just admitted to me, that he hated seeing me with someone else too. Maybe it's that he let me into his bed half-naked and we're cuddling without reservations.

"Gale said something about you going through a dry spell," I begin carefully. "How many girls have you even been on dates with since we met?"

"Katniss..." he says in a warning tone, but I'm not about to stop now.

"You haven't been in a relationship since I've known you. How many girls have you even hooked up with? What's stopping you, Peeta?"

He exhales and I see the look of frustration on his face. Before I can do or say anything else his hand drops down my back and squeezes my behind roughly. The feel of his warm, strong hand against my lace panties makes the wetness pool between my legs at an alarming rate.

"You know what's stopping me," he says in a pained voice.

I slip my leg between his and press myself against his thigh, desperately searching for some friction for my clit. "Do you think of me when you fuck someone else?" I pant, working my hips in a circle.

"Katniss..." he tries to chide me, his hands grabbing at my hips. He only makes a half-hearted attempt to actually get me to stop though. It's at this point that I know we're both still drunk enough that this will all be a blur in the morning.

"Why are you still fighting this?" I whine desperately. "Gale doesn't even-"

But I don't get the words out because Gale's name must be like a glass of cold water to Peeta, instantly snapping him out of the lust filled haze we were just in. He grips my hips more tightly and halts my movements.

"Katniss, come on..." he says more seriously, instantly killing my libido as well.

"Fine, I'll go sleep on the couch," I grumble, moving to get up.

He holds me to him though and doesn't let me move any further.

"Uh uh no way," he shakes his head. "I need a snuggle buddy tonight. You're staying right here."

And I know that this is ultimately my complete undoing. This is why Peeta and I have been keeping up this little game for the past 4 years. The fact that one minute he can be grabbing my ass and then the next pretending like we're nothing more than really good friends who can share a bed and don't want to fuck each other's brains outs.

Peeta Mellark is no Saint. He just pretends to be.

"Fine," I huff my annoyance, but he just smiles and kisses me on the forehead.

He holds me against him and slowly we drift off to sleep. But something changes between us after that night, I can feel it. It's getting harder and harder for him to keep this up, to pretend that he can just keep going on like this.

Something has to give sooner or later.

X

2 1/2 years later...

When Peeta gets down on one knee in the middle of the restaurant my heart stops.

I briefly glance around and see that most of the tables nearby, including our group of friends, are staring at us in shock. The chatter of the busy restaurant has died down and even the waiters and busboys have stopped to watch this little scene unfold.

I look back down at the sight of Peeta kneeling before me.

He's grinning at me, his eyes shining with love.

"Katniss Everdeen..." he begins, reaching out to take my hand.

"Oh my god..." I mumble as my heart starts hammering away in my chest. This is really happening. He's actually doing this.

"For almost four years I told myself we couldn't be together. I convinced myself that I had to stay away." He shakes his head and laughs at the memory. "I was an idiot," he continues and I laugh but realize my cheeks are now wet with tears.

"These past couple of years have been the best of my life. Being with you has made me the happiest I have ever been. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he brings my hand to his lips and kisses the back of it.

"I don't have a ring yet. All I have is my promise that I will take care of you and love you. That I will never again push you away or make you doubt that I want you every minute of every day."

At this point I have completely lost it. I'm nearly sobbing, desperately trying to keep it together. I just want him to ask the damn question already so I can say 'yes'.

He studies me for a long moment, a look in his eye that tells me he is absolutely sure about doing this.

"Will you marry me?"

"Yes."

When he rises to his feet the people around us burst into cheers and I throw my arms around him. He takes my face in both his hands and kisses me hard on the mouth.

When we break away I stay in his arms, my head buried in his chest for as long as possible, never wanting this moment to end.

The rest of the restaurant goes back to their own routine, but when we rejoin our group of friends at our table there is a lot of hugging and handshakes.

Gale and Madge, Finnick and his new girlfriend Annie, Thresh and his little sister Rue, are all equal parts stunned and overjoyed by the news. What was suppose to be a reunion dinner for the four boys who lived together in college is suddenly now also our engagement party.

I'm in a daze, floating on cloud nine, unable to wipe the stupid grin off my face. Peeta has barely taken his hands off me since I said 'yes'. Gale looks stunned, like he had no idea how serious we were all this time.

"We'll go back to our place so you two can have some privacy tonight," Madge tells me with a sly wink, grabbing Gale's hand.

My stomach does flips at the thought of 'celebrating' with Peeta tonight.

"Uh please, I don't need that mental image in my mind," Gale groans in displeasure.

"Don't worry buddy," Peeta laughs, slapping Gale on the back. "I told you. All we do is hold hands."

"Then Katniss must really enjoy holding your hand based on the noises coming from your bedroom last night," Finnick pipes in.

My face turns beet red as the table bursts into laughter. Peeta looks embarrassed, but sort of proud of himself and Gale groans in disgust again.

The restaurant is nice enough to treat our table with free desserts because of our engagement and once we pay the bill we all say our goodbyes out in the parking lot before heading home.

For a while Peeta and I don't say anything. I just hold his hand quietly as he drives and we share stupid, silly grins as the realization that we're going to get married sinks in.

I'm going to be Mrs. Peeta Mellark. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm going to be the mother of his children.

"You getting ideas?"

Peeta's words snaps me out of my daydream and I look over to see him glancing over at me from the driver's seat.

"Maybe," I laugh.

"Because I definitely have ideas for you when we get home."

His face holds no hint of playfulness anymore and his eyes have darkened with desire. I clench my legs together to try and quell the throbbing ache.

He reaches over and slips his hand under my dress, finding the wetness that has already started to gather between my legs.

"You just can't get enough, can you?" He asks rubbing my clit quickly before pushing his finger inside me.

I whimper in response.

"Good, because I'm going to give it to you when we get home."

X

I am naked and tied up.

I feel like I have been on the precipice of an orgasm for hours now.

Peeta has been pleasuring me non-stop since we got back to his place and just barely made it into his room before stripping each other of our clothes.

But then he took control, tying me up and working me until I am nearly delirious with need, begging him to let me come.

Every time I get close though he pulls back or stops and lets me calm down.

He's making me wait for it.

Just like he did when we were in college.

But this time it's a good wait.

He has just pulled his head from between my legs where he was fucking me with his tongue. He started sucking on my clit but as soon as my body started to tighten he sat back on his heels.

"Fuck," I moan pulling on his dress tie that is currently binding my hands to the headboard.

"Soon..." he laughs, stroking his cock that is now rock hard and leaking from the tip.

"Let me suck you off," I whine, not able to stand not touching his dick when it's hard and ready for me.

"Later," he says, moving up my body until he is kissing me softly.

I sigh into the kiss. It's gentle and sweet and feels so good.

"I want you to come so hard," he breathes when we pull away. "I want you to fall apart."

"Peeta..." I murmur helplessly, pushing my hips towards him, begging him to touch me.

"How do you want to come baby? Do you want me to fuck you as hard as I can?"

I'm making incoherent noises at this point. Helpless. Blinded by passion.

"Yeah, I think you want me inside of you. I think you want me to punish you with my cock."

"Please!" I practically scream before he slams into me.

It's the best thing I have ever felt when my future husband penetrates me. The force of his hips pounding into me moves me further up the bed. His grunts and my gasps of pleasure and the sound of our skin slapping together fills the room.

He grips onto my hips to keep me in place and sets a relentless rhythm.

"I love you," I cry, arching my back, meeting every thrust of his hips.

He reaches up to grab my breast, squeezing it roughly before dropping his hand back down between my legs.

When he circles my clit I cry out, thrashing my head from side to side.

"You're going to make me come saying that," he grunts.

"Good," I gasp.

He reaches down and hooks my knee over the crook of his arm, changing the angle of his penetration.

"Yes!" I scream, the waves of pleasure magnifying and flooding to new parts of my body.

"Come on baby," he murmurs as he starts to drive into me with long, hard strokes.

"Peeta...I...I'm going to—"

The words die in my throat as the tidal wave crashes over me, my body flooding with pleasure so intense it leaves me breathless and shaking until I can regain my bearings.

"Fuck you're so beautiful when you come," he says through gritted teeth. His hips are snapping against me in a frenzy as he nears his release.

I'm still recovering from my own orgasm and all I can do is look up at him in wonder as he slams into me over and over again, my hands still tied up, little waves of pleasure still shooting through me.

Finally he strains against me with a shout as his cock throbs inside me, his warmth filling me up.

He collapses against me, his weight pushing the air from my lungs. With a little effort I pull my hands free of their bondage and then wrap my arms around him and hold him close, never wanting to let him go.

We are quiet for a long while, each of us catching our breath and coming down from our highs. He rolls off of me to the side and pulls me against him and in the silence around us I think about what it took for us to get to this moment.

And even though it was hard and frustrating and sometimes painful I don't think I would do it any differently.

He was worth the wait.


End file.
